Why?
Three Words: Grey's Anatomy Marathon. Old episodes. Episodes I've watched 3 or 4 times before but I can't stop. I. Just. Can't. It made me want to be a surgeon and it's still keeping me interested. Good God. It's retarded that my notion of surgical medicine is largely based on a primetime series. Oh well, what started this obsession is not that important. Not as much as getting there, I guess.
College Anxiety? Not so much. Realizing how fast time flies is just disconcerting.
It's here. Pre-med. It's coming fast too. People think I'm so sure about where I'm going, what I'm doing, my school, my course, yadiyadiyada. Newsflash, I am clueless. I'm not sure about Ateneo's pre-med. I'm not sure about Health Sciences. Hell, I'm not sure about anything. I just don't know anything else. I've always had my sights set on medicine since Grade School. I'd deviate once or twice, aspiring in Marine Biology or whatnot, but it always veered back to an MD. I guess I just assumed I'm wired enough to handle what I'm taking on. But there's no knowing for sure. There's never knowing for sure, not really.
So what do I do? Say it with me...
Grey's. Anatomy. Marathon.
No one's ever ready to take the next step, head first and without hesitations. Some are more eager, others deal with other ways. That next step, it comes. Without warning, even though you think you've been preparing for it all your life. It's like, you think you want to do all these things and you make so many plans: top the Medical Bar Exam, take specialization in surgery abroad, minor in marine biology and environmental science, join the John Hopkins Research team, cure cancer - but when the time comes to try to realize those dreams, you take a small half-step back. But that's okay. I think it is, at least.
Sometimes that half-step back gives you the momentum for the long push forward. Just my insight.
So, here I am, not sleeping. Watching these episodes for the nth time. It's not real, and I don't expect it to be like this when I get out there. But you know what? I don't care :) It's pretty damn real to me.
Just my thoughts,
Tetel
5 comments:
aw tetel! Your entry made me think about my own choice to be an anthropologist. I wonder if its really gonna happen. Im sure you'll make a great doctor. Do what you think will make you happy. At the same time think about the suistainability.
Whatever you do, I know you will be successful :)
Thanks Nica! :) You too, I'm so sure you'd do great things XP In the meantime, we still have all this school in between. :)
hey tetsss! i feel for you. but i have no doubt that you will succeed in ANYTHING that you set your mind to. believe me, you have the capabilities to be a wonderful and skilled surgeon/doctor/physician/marine biologist/[insert job here] haha!
I believe in you my love! :)
yay i found you! :)
<3alex l.
i link you back.;)
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