. . .

See. . . My brother is wild. He does some really shitty stuff and my parents always go hard on him. He's crashed and completely wrecked one car, was thrown in jail, caught with drugs, joined a frat, knocked someone up - and all the possible screw ups you can imagine.

Now, he's in trouble again. He had another car accident. But he knows that my parents are gonna kill him, strangle him, and no joke - physically hurt him when they find out. So, he hasn't gone home in 2 days and he hasn't contacted any of my parents. He texts me here and there. But he's never really said where he was or how he's doing. It's a hard knocked life. Ah shit.

My sister, on the other hand, is abroad. And my parents hate her boyfriend. They hate him so much that they've been fighting with her for the 6 or 7 years that they've been together. They've called her so many names, made her leave, and did lots and lots of stuff to hurt her.

I guess they're just concerned. I just wish we could talk about stuff in a more civilized manner. I've always idealized the image that we'd be able to talk about the things bothering us or how we feel without it becoming confrontational. I'd always dreamed that I wouldn't ever have to hear phrases like "You're such a crappy child/I hate you/You were a huge mistake/You think you're so smart!/You are the most disrespectful child/I have a devil for a daughter/You don't care about anyone but yourself" so often. I always wished I could tell them how I feel.

I'm the middle-man and the messenger. Plus, I'm the only child at home. So I'm getting all the shit from them. So we're back to: "you're a selfish child/you're a mistake/you don't care about anyone/how dare you/you suck/i wish you were never born." I told them that I've been doing stuff to reach Dong, and they say I'm not doing anything. CAN THEY UNDERSTAND? There's a reason why he's not coming home!! There's a fucking reason why he feels he CAN'T show himself. I'm just trying to mediate between two parties and my dad told me to "get the hell out." So I will. I need to get out. I NEED to get out. I'm leaving today. Don't know where I'm going, but I'm leaving.

Fuck this. Love is the battlefield. Relatives are the warzones.