. . .

The taste of her cherry chapstick.

2008-05-27T15:45:00.000-07:00

I'm curious for you.

Caught my attention.

Funny funny shit. Weird whimsical reality.

Let's not sugarcoat it, shall we?

2008-05-25T00:10:00.000-07:00

See. . . My brother is wild. He does some really shitty stuff and my parents always go hard on him. He's crashed and completely wrecked one car, was thrown in jail, caught with drugs, joined a frat, knocked someone up - and all the possible screw ups you can imagine.

Now, he's in trouble again. He had another car accident. But he knows that my parents are gonna kill him, strangle him, and no joke - physically hurt him when they find out. So, he hasn't gone home in 2 days and he hasn't contacted any of my parents. He texts me here and there. But he's never really said where he was or how he's doing. It's a hard knocked life. Ah shit.

My sister, on the other hand, is abroad. And my parents hate her boyfriend. They hate him so much that they've been fighting with her for the 6 or 7 years that they've been together. They've called her so many names, made her leave, and did lots and lots of stuff to hurt her.

I guess they're just concerned. I just wish we could talk about stuff in a more civilized manner. I've always idealized the image that we'd be able to talk about the things bothering us or how we feel without it becoming confrontational. I'd always dreamed that I wouldn't ever have to hear phrases like "You're such a crappy child/I hate you/You were a huge mistake/You think you're so smart!/You are the most disrespectful child/I have a devil for a daughter/You don't care about anyone but yourself" so often. I always wished I could tell them how I feel.

I'm the middle-man and the messenger. Plus, I'm the only child at home. So I'm getting all the shit from them. So we're back to: "you're a selfish child/you're a mistake/you don't care about anyone/how dare you/you suck/i wish you were never born." I told them that I've been doing stuff to reach Dong, and they say I'm not doing anything. CAN THEY UNDERSTAND? There's a reason why he's not coming home!! There's a fucking reason why he feels he CAN'T show himself. I'm just trying to mediate between two parties and my dad told me to "get the hell out." So I will. I need to get out. I NEED to get out. I'm leaving today. Don't know where I'm going, but I'm leaving.

Fuck this. Love is the battlefield. Relatives are the warzones.

[Fin]

2008-05-20T08:02:00.001-07:00

Dan: "I just think too much has happened. I don't know how to make things go back to where they were."

Serena: "So that's it then? It's just, have a good summer, I'll see you back at school?"

Dan: "I guess. . . yeah."

Serena: "He's gone. You can let go now."

Dan: "I know. I don't want to."

---------------

When timing is everything.

You feel things a lot more. Especially the things you don't want to.

It's over. Oh god.

Adios Motherfucker.

2008-05-16T11:35:00.001-07:00

I know how to make one. HA HA HA.

4theloveofkicks

2008-05-16T10:34:00.000-07:00

Lemar and Dauley's Streetball 2008 Adi Dassler's

Adi Dassler's Nike Vandals

Sexy sexy shoes make me happy. I need some sexy shoes. My yummy pair is quite lonely. Here are some I've been stalking. Leo, hope you can tell me what you think.

I also like Missy E's Respect M.E. line. The Lemar and Dauley Streetball '08 is my dream shoe. It's like $130 and ordered online on karmaloops.com. The white one is just sexy.

Check out Leo's blog on cool kicks. --> 4theloveofkicks.blogspot

Hello

2008-05-16T05:55:00.000-07:00

So, I got a license. I can't park (K, fine. I kinda can) and Metro Manila traffic scares the crap out of me. But whatever, I need it so I can drive to school every morning : >

On a side note, you people who are not going to my party suck. But I love all you suckers.

What else is new? I went to a breakdancing class last Monday. That was an interesting class. My fresh-out-of-a-month-in-bed legs were on fire for the last 4 days but that's okay. The eye candy was worth it. HA HA HA. I hope this doesn't reach some people. That'd be embarassing. Then I went to gym in Metropolis and FINALLY visited George. Sorry for taking so long to visit you George. The gym was, different. Not it's usual self. No pit, boo. And the springs were like shit. HAHA. I was fixing my "freestyling" skills. Ha ha. So I pretty much busted my knee coz of an aerial. Landed on my knees and bounced off the floor. It was pretty gnarly. You should see the video. . . in slow motion. It'll make you cringe. It's pretty amusing actually especially when it's juxtaposed against my old aerial video. Oh how far the mighty have fallen. Le sigh. Le boohoo. Le tear.

Anyway, I hope the party pushes through. So we can all wave Adios Motherfuckers to the Guitar hero legends!

Love you all,

Tetel

P.S. I Love You

2008-05-09T15:36:00.000-07:00

I spent almost two hours watching that movie, and I did not stop crying. Seriously, I watched it online and it's all cut up to 4 different parts. In each part, I burst out sobbing. SOBBING. No exaggeration. SOBBING. I died. It has to be one of the nicest things I've seen in a while. I also watched the new Grey's Anatomy episode, "Becoming." Oh good god, cliffhanger. Damn it. I don't like being updated with the latest season. It means I have to wait for the next one.

They're just all so perfect in movies, right? All of 'em. If life were a movie, it would be kinda boring right now.

So, anyway. I'm coming out of hiding. I really need to peel myself away from this computer and my bed. I need to sleep at normal times and wake up earlier than 2 o clock. I need to go out this week, get my license, and finish everything else I've been putting off. Not want. NEED. I also NEED to eat things other than breakfast food. I've never been more bummier than I have been now. Ever. Not even kidding.

Funny thing, I saw Abe's multiply. I AM EMBARASSED. Bora pictures. 15 shots pictures. OH GOD. wtf. I was retarded. I am not drinking in my party. You all are. Then I'll take lots of your pictures and we'll all be even. We can all go back to normal. People can puke at me, for all I care. My shower's gonna be 2 seconds away.

These are all random, mind you.

My dad's totally middle-aging. It's too hilarious. He bought us guitar hero coz he wanted to play it. Not for us. For him. But now, my mom totally kicks his ass at the Easy level. Like seriously, I've never seen such ass kicking. He sucks. HAHA. So over dinner, he said, "I'll get rock band. The drums, this time. I'm not good at Guitar Hero." So I'll just wait for those things to come. He likes to say a lot of things that don't happen. HAHAHA. For example, he offered me an Impreza. He took it back ]: And I was so stoked about that shmexy car. Next to the WRX STI Impreza, the Toyota Yaris is sisiw. SISIW. Ah well, I'll just get awesome mags for the Yaris, if ever. I blame you, Raphael Alfonso Prado Hidalgo for making me car-aware. HATE HATE HATE.

What else?

Hmmm....

Mhhhmmmmm....

Haaaaaaa.........

Ho-hum.

I'll go now. I don't have a lot to update with. But I do need to catch up with all of YOUR eventful lives :] Message me, okay? I'm restarting my social life.

Love you all,

Tetel

It's Called Part 2

2008-05-08T05:12:00.000-07:00

Here we go. I'ma throw that party in my house soon. School's round the corner. I'm stoked and really pissed. I wasted this summer. Totally wasted it.

Ah well, it ain't over yet. I miss so many people.

Loupo, come back please.

Mart, I'm gonna get that load soon.

Sabel, how are you? Are we cool?

Cheska, where are you?

Ikat, gooooo Speed Racer.

Nica, update!

Paula, what's up?

I miss you all.

You're It!

2008-05-06T22:27:00.000-07:00

So Ikat tagged me. The survey shit comes after.

I miss you all. I have no life.

Tagged by Ikat [:

1. If your lover played a prank on you and you found out, what will you do?
Well, I'd prolly be really pissed and get mad at the monkey XP But then I'd get over it.

...eventually

2. What do you think of bulimia?
Waste of time, believe me.

...oops, no comment.

3. One random thing about you?
I can't tell left from right. I suck at directions. I'm actually pretty dumb when it comes to common sense ^^

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
Mhmm, not really. Thanks to The Secret. Ha ha ha.

Ah well, k lang.

5. The one positive thing that happened to you today?
Raph.

6. Truth or dare?
Double dare.

7. How many people know your deepest darkest secret?
2

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Ahaaaaaaaaaaaas. HA HA HA. Kidding, I dunno. The guy I really like is already attached anyway!

It gets annoying sometimes. He's too attached

9. What's the stupidest thing that you've done recently?
Sneezed.

10. What do you want to achieve when you grow up?
cure cancer. wealth. SECRET

11. Is being tagged fun?
No. Screw you, Ikat.

:*
12. What/Who do you need right now?
A life. The internet is boring. Sleep. I'm really short

13. When was the last time you had a good cry?
This week. Reading Twilight [:

14. What do you think about the guy who started this whole tagging thing?
He's really dumb. I bet he can't tell left from right either.

15.Are you good at slapjack?
Guess so. Let's see.

16. Are you good at poker?
I don't bluff.

Then again, that can be a bluff right there.
*Twilight Zone themesong plays*

17. Would you give your all in a relationship?
No. Sorry Raph. HA HA HA

Yeah, I would. Already did XP

18. Who are you chatting with at the moment or last send an im to?
Can't remember. I was too busy sleeping til 5

HA HA HA HA HA. Sad, but true.

19. What type of friends do you like?
awesome people.

20. Last words?
Tagging sucks. I'll be a rebel and not tag anyone. So it ends with me.

K, love you all

Thank you

2008-05-02T23:41:00.000-07:00

I miss you all so much! I went through a rough patch but lots of people really helped me pull out of that dark place [: I feel so lucky knowing that I have you guys to count on. Thank you, you should know who you are.

I went to Batangas the other day. It was the soft opening of this really really cool resort called Acuatico. It looks shitty out front, with all the gravel and blue plastic covering all the construction. Plus it's really really far. My lola and aunt thought it was a daytrip, so they had to leave at 6pm and we were left with 2 beds to spare. So we called in reinforcements!

It was a fun trip. I'd take you guys there but the beach sucks. HAHA. Too much jellyfish.

You guys better go to whatever I have planned for my birthday. I know it's really really far. But you better go! Okay! That includes my friends in the U.S. of A :]

Truly,

Tetel

Sound of Settling.

2008-04-27T07:00:00.001-07:00

Endless apologies from my end. Hurt feelings. Too familiar. Still apologizing for feeling bad. Still not sure. Ride it out anyway.

even if it hurts

Settling, it sucks ass.

Hope you have a good time. I'll be feeling kind of crappy, sorry bout that.

Truly,

Tetel

Guitar Hero

2008-04-26T10:51:00.000-07:00

It's awesome. Here's my invite to spread the awesomeness.

21 and a few select friends :) We shall travel to the South one day and party in my house. Girls may sleep over. Alcohol and food will be our friends.

So, that's what's new with me. A guitar hero station in my living room.

On a side note, my dad is a useful impulsive buyer. When my mom goes all out, she maxes out her credit cards on shoes and bags. My dad, on the other hand, brings home news that he just bought a jet ski. HA! Someone, take us to the beach. I'ma bring my jet ski. LOL.

Scalpels in High Def

2008-04-25T14:24:00.000-07:00

I haven't slept. I don't sleep. I am 5 ft, and I don't sleep. No, not 4 ft 4 in (that's a whole 'nother story), 5 ft. But that's still pretty bad, my feet still dangle in high chairs. In any case, I'm not sleeping.

Why?

Three Words: Grey's Anatomy Marathon. Old episodes. Episodes I've watched 3 or 4 times before but I can't stop. I. Just. Can't. It made me want to be a surgeon and it's still keeping me interested. Good God. It's retarded that my notion of surgical medicine is largely based on a primetime series. Oh well, what started this obsession is not that important. Not as much as getting there, I guess.

College Anxiety? Not so much. Realizing how fast time flies is just disconcerting.

It's here. Pre-med. It's coming fast too. People think I'm so sure about where I'm going, what I'm doing, my school, my course, yadiyadiyada. Newsflash, I am clueless. I'm not sure about Ateneo's pre-med. I'm not sure about Health Sciences. Hell, I'm not sure about anything. I just don't know anything else. I've always had my sights set on medicine since Grade School. I'd deviate once or twice, aspiring in Marine Biology or whatnot, but it always veered back to an MD. I guess I just assumed I'm wired enough to handle what I'm taking on. But there's no knowing for sure. There's never knowing for sure, not really.

So what do I do? Say it with me...

Grey's. Anatomy. Marathon.

No one's ever ready to take the next step, head first and without hesitations. Some are more eager, others deal with other ways. That next step, it comes. Without warning, even though you think you've been preparing for it all your life. It's like, you think you want to do all these things and you make so many plans: top the Medical Bar Exam, take specialization in surgery abroad, minor in marine biology and environmental science, join the John Hopkins Research team, cure cancer - but when the time comes to try to realize those dreams, you take a small half-step back. But that's okay. I think it is, at least.

Sometimes that half-step back gives you the momentum for the long push forward. Just my insight.

So, here I am, not sleeping. Watching these episodes for the nth time. It's not real, and I don't expect it to be like this when I get out there. But you know what? I don't care :) It's pretty damn real to me.

Just my thoughts,

Tetel

Make Love Not War

2008-04-24T07:10:00.000-07:00

We should all just give peace a chance.

We really should. It'd be nice to have things (a.k.a. issues) out and have uninhibited fun with friends. I miss you all very dearly and it's quite disheartening to see conflict among you guys. We're all very very good together :)

I feel so zen lately. Maybe it's coz my ass has been glued to the bed. I can seriously feel my brain being pulverized into nothingness. Ha ha ha. There's absolutely nothing to do. I need to do something. Maybe yoga. Or learn to play the banjo. That'd be interesting.

On second thought, fuck the banjo. Hip hop and gymnastics would be more interesting.

Shout out to my friends. I miss you all very very much. On a side note, pandesal owner, please get Skype. If you already have one, add me :)

F it, I want sneakers.

Truly,

Tetel

Blue-blood

2008-04-23T06:53:00.000-07:00

Someone has joined the family. Oh thank God. I am not alone. The Ateneo chapter is bigger, my friends. Praise the Lord, hallelujah.

21, I miss you already.

Truly,

Tetel

Bandwagon

2008-04-22T15:12:00.000-07:00

I've joined the Blogspot wave. Thank you, pandesal, for reviving it (for me, at least). Here's hoping this blog doesn't gather dust too.

College is right around the corner. People are in different countries. Cheers to staying in touch and keeping updated.

That's it for now.

Delayed birthday shout out to Loupo and my sister. I wonder if you'll even see this.

Truly,

Tetel